the umpa lumpa stage

I have entered that stage of pregnancy where I can no longer sit through a 3 hour class in my big jeans.

It is also the stage where people come up to you, say hi to your face, and then do a not-so-subtle belly check.

The bean is now about 6 inches in length. The finger nails and toenails are now fully formed. The urinary tract and bladder are functioning, emptying about once every hour, still considerably less frequently than mine.

did you know?

that in China, your age includes the time you spent in the womb?
i think that's brilliant.

pregnant dreams.

• There was the one where chickens the size of kindergarteners took over my farm house (I don't have a farm house) and behaved as people (without the talking). They even read the paper.
• And also the one where I bought the General Lee (you know, the car from the Dukes of Hazard) from my high school boyfriend for $1500 cash. In the dream, Nate was not happy. When I told him in the morning, he told me that was a really good deal.
• And last night I gave birth to a fully formed 6 month old little boy with lots of blonde hair, wearing adult socks.
  

Just thought you might like to know. Maybe it's time to cut out the late-night snacking...

parents' weekend

We just got back from a much needed little mini-break at the Oregon Coast. Nate and I stayed at this hotel that is literally right on the ocean. It was a typical Oregon Coast weekend, beautiful mist and grey skies. We mostly stayed indoors except to venture out for coffee in the afternoon.

Highlights of the weekend for me were playing Scrabble (and, shockingly losing twice!) and having my first room service meal ever (what fun!). Nate explored the wonderful world of cable TV (sorry baby, your parents have 3 channels for you to choose from).

On the car ride out we discussed possible names for you, boy names are easier for us than girl ones...not because we're hoping a boy...I think that is mostly because I am more picky about girl names. Don't worry, baby, I won't let your dad do anything too bizarre with your name.

We came home refreshed after a long week.

i've been writing you private little messages...

...that somehow felt too personal for the whole world wide web....anyway, you've had a sad mom lately. You know this, because you have the best view of anyone. Bunches of people told me I was going to feel better once the 2nd trimester hit. I'm still hoping and waiting for that-I think I took it really personally that I was still sick.

It's taken a bit longer than I expected to say goodbye to your great-grandma. I so wanted her to meet you- you are just her favorite kind of person-tiny. I know that she would have been crazy about you. So the last week I dove into school work (which is a nice little escape, and escape options are limited when you've got a little guest in your womb).

Your dad has been great. Bringing 7-up, making multiple boxes of macaroni and cheese (your personal fave) and reminding me when I forget about all of the blessings around me.

Thank you for giving me things to be thankful for.

one down.

The pregancy book says that by the end of the week you'll be the size of a peach. I remember you when you were the size of half of a grain of rice.

You weigh about 14 grams and are about 2 1/2 inches in length. You have reflexes and will begin to have activity in the digestive tract. Bile (gross, baby) is now being secreted and these types of developments are to prepare you for life outside of me.

Welcome to the 2nd trimester, baby! We heard your heartbeat again today. Your dad says for a little tyke you sound strong (and a little like a punkrock song). You sound beautiful to me.

what she gave

I've been writing this in my mind for a couple of days. It's hard to put into words everything that's been going on. Amazingly, the bean continues to grow, despite my sad heart. My parents came to town for one funeral, and accidentally got 2. It's been a strange week.

My grandma, Jauneta passed away this week at the hospital in the little town that she lived in since my mom was a young girl. In a month a new family will live in her house on Cascade Drive.

She was a homemaker, she made ceramics, she went to church. Still, I believe the thing that defines her is her faithfulness. She watched her first husband, my grandpa, suffer with Alzheimer's disease for a very, very long time. She faithfully visited him day after day even as he forgot who she was. She didn't let it break her heart. She kept on loving him and caring for him. This is the way that we should love. Holding nothing back. Dyeing our gray hair brown so that our beloved might recognize us. Feeding him, when he forgets how to hold a fork. Speaking for him when he can no longer speak for himself.

I think she learned how to do these things because she had practiced on her children. She loved us- the children, the grandchildren, the great-grandchildren.

I will try to teach you the things that I learned from her, baby. The crocheting, the faces, the games. I will try to love you with her kind of faithfulness.