Saturday, October 01, 2005

what she gave


I've been writing this in my mind for a couple of days. It's hard to put into words everything that's been going on. Amazingly, the bean continues to grow, despite my sad heart. My parents came to town for one funeral, and accidentally got 2. It's been a strange week.

My grandma, Jauneta passed away this week at the hospital in the little town that she lived in since my mom was a young girl. In a month a new family will live in her house on Cascade Drive.

She was a homemaker, she made ceramics, she went to church. Still, I believe the thing that defines her is her faithfulness. She watched her first husband, my grandpa, suffer with Alzheimer's disease for a very, very long time. She faithfully visited him day after day even as he forgot who she was. She didn't let it break her heart. She kept on loving him and caring for him. This is the way that we should love. Holding nothing back. Dyeing our gray hair brown so that our beloved might recognize us. Feeding him, when he forgets how to hold a fork. Speaking for him when he can no longer speak for himself.

I think she learned how to do these things because she had practiced on her children. She loved us- the children, the grandchildren, the great-grandchildren.

I will try to teach you the things that I learned from her, baby. The crocheting, the faces, the games. I will try to love you with her kind of faithfulness.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I keep reading this entry over and over....and everytime I do, it makes me cry. Not a bad cry, but a good one. It reminds me of all the little(and big)things that she did. Grandma would be so proud of you, Kar...she taught us all, not so much by what she said (although there was a lot of those things too), but by what she did. You are going to be an awesome Mom, Kari Curtis. Little Bean is so lucky to have you for a Mom. Love you. Mom

mostly kari said...

thanks mom. i miss her too. i just can't quite believe she's gone. i think of her every time i forget to wear a coat (which is pretty often)... love you-

Anonymous said...

Oh, my gosh, I'm teary again! Mom

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