Monday, November 13, 2006

claire, this is your daddy.

When I was pregnant, Nate would bring his face close to my belly and say, "Claire, this is your daddy." And she would kick and flip. Every time.
Having been raised primarily by my decidedly non-male mother, I've never really understood the relationship between a father and daughter. A mother and child, I get. But a father and daughter? What does that look like?
Realizing that Nate cares for Claire in the same head over heels, willingly give up multiple nights of sleep kind of way that I do has taken a while to sink in.
One of the habits that I've picked up since becoming a mom is waking in the night and asking searching for Claire. It happened more frequently in the weeks after we transitioned her from our room to her own, but I still find myself asking Nate where she is from time to time. He generally gives me a little pat, mumbles that she's in her crib and tells me to go back to sleep.
Sunday afternoon we all took naps. About an hour after we fell asleep, Nate woke up in a groggy panic asking for Claire. I'm not sure I've ever loved him more than in that moment. It's so nice to not be alone in my love for her. To watch her light up when he comes home, when he flips her upside down, when he blows on her belly. It's a wholly different thing than her connection to me- ours is a connection of cuddles, and warmth and food. She and I can learn together what the love of a father feels like. My cup overflows.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You brought me to tears....I understand but probably not at the same level as you! Keep it up Nate (and Mommy)!!

Kristin

bean and sprout's rep. said...

i just love watching these big, strong men become sweet, loving daddies to little girls. back when tom and i were dating, i never would have guessed that he and nate would become such amazing dads to tiny, little girls. it's so sweet to watch.

claire will never doubt that her daddy loved her and that will carry her far.

Anonymous said...

Woot Woot! way to go big brother!

Dani