20: i am their giant.

Dear Claire,
The day you turned 20 months was Christmas Eve. It was also the day we found out you are going to be a big sister. I have been saving this letter until now. It seems crazy to think that there’s going to be another baby around. You’re still a baby. Only, you’re not- every day you are changing from baby to girl. Your wee, round belly is rapidly shrinking and I know that it won’t be long until it’s gone.

I think most of the time, you're going to love being a big sister. You have been helping me all along. You are the kind of kid who says thank you when I change your diaper. You love babies and point them out wherever we go. I’m looking forward to seeing you with our baby in the fall (or end of summer if this baby doesn't decide to take up permanent residence in my belly like you did).

Years ago, I went to school in Hawaii and Costa Rica. At the close of our time there, the school director warned us that completing this amazing experience would “spoil us for the ordinary.” At the time, I thought that meant that I’d be having lots of traveling adventures, and life wouldn’t be ordinary. Boy, did I travel. But those things seem ordinary compared to the joy of watching you become you.

Last night, you were sitting in my lap and we were singing songs. You looked up and me with those huge eyes and said, “Pa-dee?” Dada and I looked at each other and tried to figure out what you needed. Then I asked you, “You want to do patty cake?” Your eyes lit up and you started clapping. The Giant understood! It was a great moment. You were thrilled. We all were thrilled.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was incredibly nervous. This time, I feel peaceful (tired, but peaceful). The only reason I can feel this way is because of you. You showed me how to be a mama. You showed me that this what I want to do. You have spoiled me for the ordinary.

I love you, big girl.
Love,
Mama