apples. trees.

There is a story about Nate kicking a coffee cup as a small child. His dad had told him not to touch the cup, and little Nathan looked him in the eye and kicked the thing as hard as he could. People in the family love to share that story with me, especially during pregnancy. Whatever. I would think. This child is half-me. I am a serious rule follower. I would never have kicked a coffee cup. I went to a Quaker college. Besides, this baby is a girl, she won't have all of that testosterone to deal with, we'll be fine.

My sweet little girl threw my digital camera across the kitchen this morning, with all of the power her 27 pound body could muster. This is the camera we bought two weeks ago to replace my broken one. I had no idea that I could be so furious with such a tiny person. Throwing the camera was deliberate. The worst part about this is that there's very little reasoning with someone so small. I asked her if she knew why mommy was upset. After several seconds, she said, "No no buttons." There are "buttons" in the house that she knows she is not to touch: things like electrical outlets, TV remotes. When she could see that I was really upset, she started to cry great shaking sobs. At that moment, she happened to be wearing just a diaper. It's really hard to stay mad at someone who's wearing just a diaper. I scooped her into my arms and rocked her and held her. I smelled her neck and I reminded us both that I love her. I tried one more time to explain things. It's not all trips to the park and storytimes. Sometimes it's a lot like loving a small, destructive caveman.