Friday, July 18, 2008

today.

I went grocery shopping alone this morning, because we needed food. Because we couldn't eat Subway or Taco del Mar one more time. Because a can of black beans does not a meal make. I went to that big box store that I hate. The one that I broke up with early in my pregnancy because I couldn't handle the pushy customers and the smell. Bagging groceries myself hasn't been a feature that I've sought out in a grocery store ever, but especially in recent weeks. When a woman with A CANE almost plowed me over today, I realized that things are about to change.

I feel like I have this down. And now everything is going to change. Again.
My heart broke a little this weekend, when she ran to Hollie for kisses on her hurt knee. And ran to Nate saying, "Uppie Dada!" when she wanted to be picked up. She knows that things are changing, she sees that I can't hold her in the way that I could before. And while the head knows that it's good for her to learn to depend on others besides me, it takes the heart longer to catch up.

4 comments:

cmhd said...

But really, the head knows deep down that you are irreplacable as the girlie's mama. :)

Their Giant said...

I know, but it's strange to not be able to do what I've always done. The manatee phase of pregnancy brings new challenges with a little person who still demands so much :)

ang said...

I know how you're feeling. There are many changes now and still more to come.

I just wanted to tell you that I understand.

If you need anything let me know. I am only a short drive away and can help with whatever.

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