a different kind of birthday.

Three years ago today, I started this blog. This is what I said then. I had no idea that what started as a pregnancy announcement for one very afraid mommy would be something anyone would ever read besides two sets of grandparents. I had no idea I'd still be writing here three years later. I definitely didn't anticipate that I'd be waiting for another little bean to make his way into the world. I had no idea how much a heart and body could stretch and grow and change in the course of three years. I'm so glad we've documented it, you know, for the mini-series.
This photo is not an example of Hollie's work. This was taken on Nate's iphone the other night at the park. Just another attempt at inducing labor.

navel gazing

Tomorrow's the due date. Still no baby. I'm not surprised. The girl was late. I'm trying to remind myself that this is the easy part. This stretched out, peeing every 3 seconds, painful cramping, emotionally exhausted, crabby beyond belief time is the easy part. It is also a gift. Each day that I wait for him, I am reminded that I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't listened to my (gigantic) gut and found a new provider. Today I will be thankful, I can't guarantee that will continue if this goes on for another week or 2.

for my mother.

Thank you for your kind words and support.

Here's another of the photos that Hollie took the other day. One that won't make my mommy blush. We decided that when you are pregnant, it is important to gaze down and think nice thoughts about your baby.

My mom called yesterday to let me know that in the 70's when she was having her babies, women didn't show their bellies in maternity photos. They also wore tents instead of t-shirts. In the 90's though, those same women got tattoos in precarious places to embarrass their daughters.

vbac in the saddle again.

If I hadn't fired my doctor, I would be holding my baby right now. Did I mention that? That I fired my doctor? I did.

It amazes me that people have such strong opinions about what someone else wants to do with her body parts (particularly those parts), so I've kept my big mouth shut about my VBAC plans. I'm going to try to do things the old fashioned way, because I know myself. I know that if I didn't try, I would always wonder and probably regret not trying. I don't judge you if you opted for a second c-section. I just knew I couldn't schedule one. I need to wait until he is ready to come.

I spent too much of this pregnancy full of fear, trying to make this decision apart from the stories and statistics. Lately, I'm too big to care what people think. In the end, it's a lot like bringing a baby into the world. You take this leap. You make the best decision you can for your family without really knowing how it's all going to turn out. Maybe you go off of your birth control pill or IUD or whatever. Maybe you find out one day that you're pregnant when you weren't planning to be at all. You say, "we're going to do this," even if you feel like you can't. Even if it means you have to wear ice packs in your underwear afterward. I know it really doesn't matter how my babies come out of me, only that they come out. Still, I have to try, I'll let you know how it goes.

I'll leave comments open this time, but only if you promise to be nice.

*Just yesterday, Hollie Miller, maker of meals and other wonderful things took this picture and many more of my big, round self. I'm going to post some of the shots this week. If you're local and need a photographer, she takes amazing photos and I'll gladly connect you with her.

it's what's for dinner.

Having a husband who is the oldest of eight means he's had years of experience living with a pregnant lady. This has not always been easy for me, because I sometimes feel like I miss out on Nate being in awe of the miracle going on in my body. I sometimes have to remind him that I'm growing a human here. There are however, positive aspects to Nate's experience. One: he was the only person male or female in our birth class to not freak out when they showed the baby being born. And two: when I can't make a decision and can't handle food at all, he knows what to do.
Usually it involves steak. I told you, he's turning into Martha Stewart.

you and me both.

Claire: Pease, Mama. Pease.
Me: Please, what, Girlie?
C: Please can I hold baby?
M: I wish, Sweetpea.

hollie miller got me pregnant.

Internet, did I ever tell you about that one time 9 months ago when my friend Hollie and I decided we should have babies together? And then did I tell you about how after a month, Hollie and her husband changed their minds? Just wondering.

Maybe it was guilt, then, that convinced Hollie to spend her Saturday filling my deep freeze with tons of meals. I can accept that. I'll gladly take the guilt food and the promise to come in the middle of the night when I go into labor.
And seriously, what were we thinking? One of us should probably be sane while the other is completely exhausted and hormonal. I'll take my turn with exhausted and hormonal first, but in a year or so I hope to be able to return the favor, meals and all.

can't. sit. still.

I no longer walk. I officially waddle. My college roommate would be so sad, when Nate asked me if I wanted to walk tonight I turned him down. I am exhausted.

The girl, though, she keeps running. And moving. In the past month, she has moved to a big girl bed without a problem, she has potty trained (one month of carrying purses before I return to the huge diaper bag), she has requested privacy, a haircut and a ring for her finger. How does she know that everything is about to change? I asked her what her last name is and she answered, "Big Girl." And she is. When she was little, I took pictures of her every day, now she is harder to contain, always moving, always running.
And soon, there will be 2 for the chasing. I know he's in there, but it still blows my mind.

what not to wear: preggo edition.

Maternity fashions for the toddler mommy. Hot or not?

Don't even think about suggesting a structured jacket.

belly buddy.

This week, I thought I lost the shiny new camera phone that Nate got me for Mother's Day. I searched in the usual places and even tried calling myself (straight to voicemail, of course). I was pretty sure that the last time I had seen the phone was Sunday at church so I was confident that I would find it there.

Unfortunately, the only photo on the phone is one of me that seemed hilarious while Katie made this last week:

I have spent the last two days trying to decide who at the church I would most like to find my phone and discover my mummified pregnant self.

Thankfully, the phone was recovered in our house. It's bad enough the door-to-door window guy had to show up while we were making the belly cast.

craft time with the dada.

I love craft blogs. I love to see what people come up with and make. I like grabbing ideas even if I rarely make the things that I diligently bookmark.

This weekend, I got away with a group of girlfriends for a night. Saturday afternoon when I called Nate, he told me about a project that he and the girl created. After listening to a few of my friends describe what their husbands were up to, all I can say is I am the luckiest. Nate and Claire ate their oatmeal, made a craft project and went skateboarding. Then they went out to lunch and hit the swings after naptime.

In case you were wondering about the craft: here's what they did. They used a website called Bus Selecta to design and print a bunch of cars. Then they printed them and cut them out. Next they mounted the cars to a strip of cardboard to resemble a street with tons of VWs and Porsches.

When I found out that I was having a boy, one of my big fears was that Nate would lose interest in Claire as our boy got older. When I watch these 2 together, I know that as usual, my fears were unfounded. Dude is turning into Martha Stewart before my eyes. It is precious to behold.