Tuesday, October 21, 2008

this the last time you have to see this belly. until next time.

My heart raced as I noticed her across the aisle. Was that really her? You know how people look different when they're not in the place you expect them? Her hairstyle had changed. She wasn't wearing the white coat. I couldn't look away. Nate wasn't there to remind me not to stare. It was definitely her. Instantly, all of the smart things I had wanted to say escaped me. I wasn't sure if she recognized me, I had changed a lot since our last visit.
It wasn't just the absence of belly. Everett's birth had changed me. I know now that if I could do that, I can do anything. Of course, I didn't march up to her and dare her to punch me in the un-c-sectioned stomach. I didn't tell her that maybe she should consider another specialty. Instead, I watched her eat lunch with her family and pretend not to see me.

But she saw me. I wonder how many women like me went to her because she's a woman and we thought we could trust her. How many of them didn't have a chance to do something different?
As much as I wanted to, I didn't tell her where she could put her 20%.

8 comments:

katie said...

seriously, the best prego photo's ever, I love the one of you sitting indian style! Is the until saying until the next baby, already thinking ahead eh?
You should send that doctor a little note with a pic of you and everett and a little about your story with her, and your actual birth story. Maybe it won't change her, but maybe it will.

cmhd said...

Oh, man! I'm not sure what I would have done. I like to think I'm sassy enough to have told her where to put the 20%, but I probably would have done the same thing you did, which is to say nothing & simply be content with the knowledge of my own superiority. :) Ha ha.
cmhd

the mama said...

this post was awesome! i love hearing about E's birth and how you defended your body and it's abilities! i almost think i would have lost all sensibility and would have given that dr. something to think about. however, i think katie's got a much better idea... it's far more graceful but still let's her know that she should respect her patients, their abilities and their bodies. again, i'm so proud of you. and you're one hot prego mama in those shots!

Hollie said...

you know that behind the tree picture is my favorite of all I think!!! Thanks for indulging my "creativity" Kar! You are such a trooper, and I am not just talking about the pics, you are an AMAZING mama and I am so happy things worked out the way YOU KNEW they could! I think sending her a note, like Katie suggested is a great idea!

Alida said...

It's so easy to succumb to doctors suggestions. Some care that air of "I'm a god" about them and it's not wasy to put them back in their place. You are awesome!

Joshua & Valerie said...

Okay, I started crying at the "Everett's birth had changed me" part.

You made such a wise desision even at that "late hour" in your pregnancy.

cece said...

you continue to be one of the bravest, most honest women i know. love love love the photos! you're radiant!

p.s. i found a flight for $215 this week...how much do i wish i could hop on a flight in the next couple of weeks and come see you?! i'm hoping travelocity offers me another deal like that in the spring!

Kristine said...

Good for you! Man... if I was in your position and she noticed me I don't know what I would have done. Meaning I probably would have said something like, "Oh isn't my baby that I had VBAC amazing? Shoot if I had gone with your advice who knows what could have happened...Glad I got that second opinion and didn't stick with you."

Although... I think your strong silent way is the best way. :) Can't wait to meet the little guy.