a day's journey.

My college roommate visited this weekend, and I had the pleasure of returning her to the airport this morning with two chai teas, two kiddos and one very loaded down Honda Element. Thankfully, Micah brought less with her for a week than I packed for a day's trip to Portland. I am so thankful that the college saw fit to pair me up with this girl from Idaho. If I had been one to place bets, I would have thought that she'd be a mommy before me. God's timing and His plans are so much richer than I can describe. When I hear my former roommate talk about what her life and her adventures, I'm certain she'd agree.

Love you, Micah. Make good choices. Remember who you are.

dearest.

* You will do ANYTHING for Pez.
* You are so over Elmo.
* The first time I sang your special lullaby to your brother, I held my breath. You set your books down and stood beside the rocking chair. Before I could finish the first few words, you were requesting that I add "Claire will love you" to the lyrics.
I love you, girlie.
Love,
Mama

an interview with a(n almost) 3 year old.

Me: Claire, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Claire: Um...a pink princess.
M: And what will Everett be?
C: A blue princess. And you be a green princess, Mama.
M: What about daddy?
C: He be a brown....robot.
That's Mister Blue Princess, please.

i see a big kid looking at me.

Claire devours books. She recently started "reading" a couple of them "by myself" and delights in reading to her baby brother. We're in need of some new reading material around here that doesn't make me want to gauge my eyes out (I'm talking to you, Miss Spider books).
Since you were able to offer much needed fashion advice to my shulmpy self, I'd love suggestions on books for three-year olds. Comment it up, friends.

happy birthday, dearmommy.

So every year is different, right? This is the year I woke up at 3:30 AM to nurse a sore breast (get it? Nurse. Ha!). I pumped 8 ounces in record time and returned to bed only to be awakened minutes later by a hungry little Mister. After nursing, a diaper and a cuddle up it was time to head to breakfast with my best friend (hi, Sar). Groggy, but happy we ate and talked without interruption. I returned home for my birthday oil change (thanks, Nate) and our day began. I made the first of my birthday cakes with help from little hands and only a few breaks to dole out time outs (one) and diapers (two, but I washed after). Oma and Papa treated us to lunch and a clean car. Also, there was this:

Untitled from Their Giant on Vimeo.

She sang her heart out. All day. Whenever I asked. Internet, that alone is reason to consider getting yourself a toddler.

Someday, we'll go out for our birthdays; maybe we'll take trips. Maybe. But this is what we're doing now and I suspect that what we will long for is that little voice singing her heart out to her dear mommy. But the little voice will be gone.

mother inferior

I had a tiny revelation while folding laundry. After folding my fortieth onesie, I dug through the pile in search of my four t-shirts. Both kids have full closets and more in storage. We have an abundance of clothing up to size 2T and a serious lack of clothing fit for a 32 year old woman.

Things are feeling out of balance around here. And not just in our closets. The kiddos have beautifully decorated bedrooms with coordinating paint and curtains. The adults sleep in a remodeled carport. I make sure that Claire eats her vegetables; I eat while driving.

The thing is, I'm not the kind of woman who gracefully suffers in silence; at least not for very long. It doesn't benefit either of my children for me to play the martyr. I love being a mother, but I think I might like it a little more if things didn't feel so out of whack.What about you? How do you maintain your sanity and do this job? I'm open to suggestions.

for her wedding slide show.

Clairegirl, you are so lucky to have a daddy like this guy. I know that weddings are all about the bride, but for us, it was all about the flower girl. Love you, Girlie.

2008: the year of the vag

For me, 2008 will always be the year that I couldn’t stop talking about my lady parts. I decided to trust the tiny voice that told me that my doctor could suck it and find a provider I could trust. Friends, the voice was right. After spending much of the year trying to decide what to do and then fearful that I had made the wrong choice, pushing that big baby out the usual way was a big deal.

In my small circle of friends, Everett's birth story has become a sort of urban legend. But his birth story isn't really about me being hardcore. I did it drug-free because I was afraid of what might happen if medical staff started intervening. I did it drug free because no one was offering any heroin (I'm pretty sure at one point, I would have taken it had it been offered). We prayed in the birth center and in the car and in the hospital room and we were answered. It may sound strange to have THAT be the big desire of your heart, but for me it was. I think because I came so close to ignoring that part of me that wanted to do this thing, I haven’t stopped feeling grateful for stitches and the right to scream myself hoarse. September 5, 2008-the biggest day of the year. No question.

Mister Baby is grateful that this will be the last mention of my nether regions on this blog for the whole of 2009.

nate turns 32...claire turns 90.

To celebrate, we drove out the coast. We ate deliciously greasy fish and then observed them pre-deep fat fryer at the aquarium. Despite forgetting to bring shoes for the child who can walk, it was a fun and easy trip. Claire was thrilled to have both of us with her all day and once we bought some shoes for her, she spent much of the day running from tank to tank. With Mister in the Ergo, and the girl's hand in mine, she looked up at me with those blue eyes and said, "holding hands together is so nice." In a month, she's gone from 2 year old tantrums to 90 year old woman sipping her tea.
Happy 32nd, Nate. I'm glad we get to do all of this stuff together.

family values.

Over the last several months, I have encouraged Claire to send cards when she receives a gift. Lately, she's been drawing pictures and having me write notes to her friends at the bottom of the picture. She dictated this one to me after a playdate with her buddy Owen.

Dear Owen (and Owie's Papa and Miss Dana):
Thank you for coming over. I like to play balls and stuff with Owie and not hit him in the head.
Love,
Claire