Tuesday, January 13, 2009

mother inferior

I had a tiny revelation while folding laundry. After folding my fortieth onesie, I dug through the pile in search of my four t-shirts. Both kids have full closets and more in storage. We have an abundance of clothing up to size 2T and a serious lack of clothing fit for a 32 year old woman.

Things are feeling out of balance around here. And not just in our closets. The kiddos have beautifully decorated bedrooms with coordinating paint and curtains. The adults sleep in a remodeled carport. I make sure that Claire eats her vegetables; I eat while driving.

The thing is, I'm not the kind of woman who gracefully suffers in silence; at least not for very long. It doesn't benefit either of my children for me to play the martyr. I love being a mother, but I think I might like it a little more if things didn't feel so out of whack.What about you? How do you maintain your sanity and do this job? I'm open to suggestions.

8 comments:

katie said...

what a great post... I was just thinking about this today, I had planned my day around the gym, where I could drop the kids off and get some alone time, and after the gym... freddys, again to drop the kids off at playland... yesterday I was sooo done being a mom. I always think about my own mom, who for years had one pair of good jeans, and two pairs of shoes (one being her white nurse shoes), while us kids had multiple cool outfits to wear to school, and bright shiny white keds (those were so cool). My mom and dad also always had the small bedroom, becuase there was so many kids who had to share rooms. My mom know has a great wardrobe, all up to date and new, more shoes than I can count, she takes multiple vacations a year, and drives a new car. I just hope at 50 something I too will enjoy the same life, and maybe this couple of years of suffering will be worth it... hopefully...
I too, do not suffer quietly, my poor husband is all I have to say to that...

katie said...

oops, sorry about the book... haaa

Alida said...

Balance is hard, but it comes in time. You practically just had the little guy. If you are noticing it, then it's time to do something.

Isabela was two before I noticed that my wardrobe was ONLY sweats and t-shirts. I had bought them on purpose a few months before having Luke. They are great and serve their purpose, but c'mon she was two now. Slowly I started shopping for me and as for the kids, the deal is they get toys for Christmas, but clothes for their birthdays. I made an inventory of what they needed and whenever grandma or auntie asked what they should get for their b-day, I'd rattle off socks, undies, long-sleeved t's etc.

Before you build up your wadrobe, assess what you have. Any pre--baby stuff that doesn't fit you or your lifestyle...say goodbye. When I was ready to ditch the sweats, everything in my closet was appropriate for an office, not for park dates. I ditched pretty much everything.

Build slowly, buy double duty stuff that can be layered. I love tank tops for summer, under my sweaters in the winter, under a structured blazer in the spring.

Sorry, I think I went a little overboard :) I'll stop now.

Anonymous said...

Very good posts from experienced friends! I too am feeling the frump of motherhood but w/ #2 on the way, do I dare spend the $ now?! I guess a new wardrobe is in the works...... mostly by brands like Motherhood Maternity, MiMi etc.. etc....
Very Good Post Kari! I will shop w/ you, for morale support w/ one of my eyes on the racks..... just in case! LOL
T

Meghan said...

Hi Kari (its Meghan Diaz) and I just have to say I can totally relate, too! Especially the food. I spent MONTHS after Diego was born eating McDonalds or just convenience foods like chips or whatever I could find cause by the time I was eating I was totally starved I just reached for whatever I could find! I finally gave up that way of eating and just take a few minutes each day to make us all good meals. Nothing extravagant, and not really anything original, just something that tastes good and isn't mcdonald's. ALthough, we do still go there ocasionally. :)

Clothes too. My son has tons of clothes and all adorable. Me, i still have mostly just what I wore to work before I was pregnant. I look in my closet and see so many clothes, but just feel frumpy in whatever I put on and I don't see the need to wear slacks and button up shirts around the house. I find myself fighting with myself on whether I should just go out and buy a ton of new stuff. Then I remember I'm a stay home mom now and we only have one income!

cmhd said...

To keep my sanity, I go to B.R. The drink I get has coffee in it, so it would be very questionable for me to share it with TLO. I do not want to be a horrible mother by hopping my kid up on sugar and caffeine, so I am being a good mother by saying "no, this is Mama's drink." and then enjoying it all by myself. :)

Seriously though, at meals, I feed TLO whatever I am eating. Since I know I am in charge of building her healthy & strong, it actually makes ME eat better too.

As for the clothes, you got me there. Maybe instead of doing a mama-makeover, we just need to frump up our kids, so they match us better, instead of vice versa. :)

cmhd said...

PS - I know of no 32 year-old woman writing this blog. As of today, anyway... Don't own a new birthday until you have to. Then own it for all it's worth! :)

momaof4 said...

Hmm, sounds like at my house. I had no nice clothes, so I went and got some this fall. And people have noticed, they still notice..maybe it took me to long to do that!!!