how to charm me.

I once read an interview of Gwyneth Paltrow where she talked about how her dad took her to Paris when she was a teenager so that she'd always know that the first time she went there it was with a man who really loved her. Which, cute. But also? Am I the only one who wouldn't have wanted to go to the grocery store with my dad as a teenager, let alone the international city of love?

I call you on my way home from Costco and describe taking a certain 3 year old into the bathroom there so she can do her business. I describe the animated verbal play-by-play she provided while having diarrhea. Meanwhile, patrons exit as quickly as possible, stifling laughs. I remind you that she knows all of the correct words to describe the situation more than adequately.

That night, you bring flowers. She sees them and tells me that you brought them for me. You correct her. They are for her, because she had a poopy day.

I swoon.