for hollie, who once got me pregnant and will soon be a mommy

At your shower, you asked me for advice. I gave you very little. I'm sorry.

I sat in that room full of friends watching my girlie jump up and down (and then pull her tights over her bum) as you opened gifts. Cute little things that will soon be covered in spit up and vomit and pee. I wasn't looking at the gifts. I was looking at the girlie. The one in the polka dots. The one who is mine. How can she be almost four?

A first baby is magical, she will be the recipient of your freshest parenting. I sometimes look at my two kids and marvel at how The Mister received such a very different mother from his big sister. And still. You will close your eyes one night, breathing in that sweet baby smell and wake up with a three year old. She will fill your days with questions and for a brief moment, she will really believe that you have all the answers. I know you know this too, but Hol, it goes fast. Soon she will be the girl at the baby shower jumping with delight at someone else's gifts, and even at three, she will be your favorite person in the room.