rise.

This summer we made a big move. It hurt to leave faces that we love. It hurt to have my kids say they wanted to go back and tell them that we couldn't. It hurt that people couldn't quite understand why it was time for us to go and it hurt to tell them that we didn't know where we were going. In obedience, we found ourselves moving to a new church after being at the same place for nearly ten years. If you're not a church person, maybe you can't relate to how this could be so painful. But we were invested in our church. We loved that place. It was home. It remains a place full of people that we love. The place where I met my husband. The place that let a guy with an anarchist hand tattoo be an elder and his broken wife serve. What a gift!

But the Lord's gentle whispers grew louder and louder and we simply had to obey. No matter the cost. And after that last hard Sunday there was sweet relief knowing we were going where He wanted, even if we didn't know where we would end up.

Still, months later, my kids ask to go back. Arms wrapped around each other at night we ask if this was real. Did we really have to go? And we walk into this new place each week feeling like we don't quite belong, yet we head out of that place each week rejoicing because the Lord is a gentleman and He confirms that He is in this (week after week, He confirms, He's that much of a gentleman). And I am still homesick for that place sometimes. I long for the comfort of old roles and friends that have know me since forever.

Last week, I downloaded a song and played it on repeat all day. It became my prayer that day. I played it on my phone while I ran. I played it in the car and sang it to my kids. Imagine my surprise when the singer of this song stood in front of the congregation of my new church that still doesn't feel like my church. At this point, it sort of felt like God was showing off. But I get it. He is in this hard move. And I'll hold on to what I know is true. This is what he sang:

Yes I will rise

Out of these ashes rise

From this trouble I have found

And this rubble on the ground

I will rise

Cause He Who is in me

Is greater than I will ever be

And I will rise

-from Shawn McDonald's Rise.