an extravagant gift.

When I met Nate he was a self-employed bachelor living alone in a tiny house.  He made beams and spindles for lowering vw buses and sold them online.  The website was in its infancy.  He was the funnest boyfriend because he was always willing to skip an afternoon of work to go fishing or for a hike.  He'd frequently nap on the floor of his tiny house in the afternoon.  I think he needed to earn like $500 a month to pay his rent and utilities and his food budget was mostly krusteaz pancakes, top ramen and burittos.

Fast forward twelve years.  Not surprisingly, our house payment is a bit more than $500.  We also rent shop space.  And pay a couple of employees.  He builds a lot more than beams and spindles and I haven't seen him take a nap on the floor in a decade.

Today is my 37th birthday and he gave me the very best gift.  Precious hours alone in my house to think and dream and rest.  In this busy season, there is always someone underfoot and usually that someone is talking at loud volumes.  Nate is busy too and can rarely take time away during a busy work day.  After driving Claire to school, he took those other two kids with him for some fun with dad.

All so that this introvert could get a moment alone.  He loves me well.

Also I got a birthday card from a 2 1/2 year old nasty pink bunny.  What more could a girl hope for?

i will sing of your mercies that lead me through valleys.

On this the first week of the new year, while I've read about resolutions and grand plans I have walked around with a pit at the bottom of my stomach.  A pit that I put there myself.  Nate and I carelessly failed to read some important paperwork and the only fault was our own.  Nate graciously took some of the blame, but this landed on me. Nater does the shop bills, I do the home ones.  It's our arrangement and it works for us.  I practically majored in paperwork and red tape (social work), so this burden fell on me and I completely missed the boat.

For three days I sat nervously, sure that this oversight was going to cost us.  Cost our kids.  We each made calls.  Sent emails.  Ate crow.  Slept in fits and felt like boneheads.

Before the sun rose this morning, Nate made one last call.  A funny quirk of our 1930's house is that if it is quiet, I can hear his conversations in the basement office if I'm sitting on the couch upstairs.  I slid to my knees and began to pray,  prepared to pay the price for my carelessness.

I am humbled at the Provision that we continue to receive.  For the grace that we absolutely do not deserve.  For the certainty that even if we had to pay the penalty for this mistake, He is still good and we would be okay.   It has been a very long time since I have felt the full weight of my foolishness and after three days certain that I would indeed feel it, our loving Father rescued us from our own carelessness.  And I am grateful.  I wouldn't have chosen self employment for our family.  I would have chosen security and certainty and a 401(k) for sure.  But the God of the universe reminds me that this family is in His very able hands.

I am so glad.

So so glad.

resolutions.

For the second day of the new year, I got to have a date with this boy*.  It may have involved cheesecake.  And now I'm blogging about it.

Knocking the resolutions out, folks.

*Weird smile courtesy of taking his picture before he took a bite of tasty cheesecake.